Description

Our favorite porn star and self-confessed food lover James Deen explores the exquisite beauty and refined indulgence that is cheese. Why cheese? Well, James explicitly expressed it himself before prior to the video’s opening credits, “Fuck food! I love cheese!” From trying different types of ketchup and mustard, James excitedly announces that it was his turn to choose what to taste-test on this video. He immediately chooses cheese, and heads to the nearest grocery to purchase a whole bunch of ‘em. Back in his apartment, James preps his water crackers and cheese knives while several selections of cheese are sprawled on one corner of his kitchen. He even dons a mouse mask over his nose to add a jovial touch to his mini taste-testing event. What are James Deen’s thoughts on every single cheese he bought? Below is a list of all the cheese that James bought and tasted in this video, along with his comments on each one of them. The list is arranged in order of the first to the last cheese that James tasted: 1. Yorkshire and Double Gloucester Red Leicester— “It’s like a mixture” he observes. The name was a bit too complicated, but in the end, it was good but not good enough to impress James Deen. 2. Smoked Gouda with Bacon— James notes that both bacon and Gouda taste good. After tasting the smoked Gouda with bacon, however, James decides that although the two tasty ingredients made a great combination, adding the bacon wasn’t really necessary. 3. Aged Gouda— Eating the Gouda by itself and without the crackers, James confirms that the Gouda by itself tastes good enough. “If I wanna eat some cheese, I wanna eat some cheese.” He emphasizes. 4. Humboldt Fog— The cheese tastes so wonderful that it made James’ eyes roll up in pleasure. “It tastes like mold, but it’s cheese. That’s some good fucking cheese!” 5. Cheddar— Despite not having any funky or sharp smell that would turn one’s nose up, Cheddar is not quite a huge competitor especially when lined up after a slice of amazing Humboldt Fog. 6. Havarti Horseradish— It taste pretty good, but just like his comment regarding the combination of bacon and cheese, he prefers cheese without the unnecessary addition of different flavors. “You don’t need to add flavors to the cheese. It’s fucking cheese, just let it be cheese.” 7. Honey Pistachio— “This is for people that don’t actually like cheese. It doesn’t even taste like cheese.” 8. Camembert— James Deen is at a loss for words. 9. Domestic No Woman Cheese— James Deen’s impression? “Like what the hell? This is a man’s cheese!” After taking a slice, he finds the taste interesting with hints of several spices. “I think it’s okay for women to eat it though”. He comments. 10. Flagship— James has two words for this type of cheese that he is unfamiliar with: Pretty good. 11. Basil & Olive Asiago— “That is pretty fucking solid.”, is all James has to say after tasting it. 12. Goat Brie— Although he gives this cheese two thumbs up, he still prefers Camembert over Brie. 13. Garlic Jack— “That’s really garlicky. Not enough Jack, too much garlic.” 14. Espresso Bellavitano— James is a bit confused, but overall, the cheese taste sweet and pretty interesting for his taste buds. 15. Jarlsberg— Without going into the details of what this cheese tastes like, James simply says he loves it. 16. Hickory Smoked Jarlsberg— Tastes “exactly the same as [Jarlsberg], only smoky.” 17. Fontina— His comment, “You can really taste the quality”, is obviously taken from the product’s tagline, “Quality you can taste.” 18. Apple-Smoked Gouda— James is not a fan. He reiterates the unnecessary addition of flavors on cheese that lessen its quality. “Why can’t people just let Gouda be Gouda?” he scoffs. 19. Manchego— A product of Spain, and it is pretty fucking good, according to James. 20. Sartori— Another cheese that made James’ eyes roll back in pure delectable satisfaction, he describes this by saying, “This is badass. I don’t know what this is but it’s good!” 21. Goat Cheese Bathed in Red Wine— James is disappointed with this one. 22. Imported French Brie— It taste pretty good, but only second to the goat brie cheese. 23. Goat Cheese with Garlic and Herbs— “Whatever. I’m sick of that shit.” James is obviously not a fan of mixing herbs and flavors with cheese. After indulging his taste buds in a selection of delicious cheeses, James has reached a decision: The Humboldt Fog is hands-down, the best cheese out of the bunch.